I'd Rather be dead now.. Acually, I think i am

[Bren]

When inhale i get this weird smell like a hospital smell
When i move my back my spine feels SO sore
When i move my neck i get a mad pain
My lips are all broken and i cant eat cuz it hurts when i move my mouth
My jaw is FUCKED up and soo sore and so are my gums
My body is totally drained of energy and i need water but dont have energy to walk to kitchen
My legs keep feelin weak and i have been mad shaky all day
I was eating coco pops this morning and my spoon was shakin real hard
My tounge has a blister on it and my mouth is dry
My brain feels all kinda mushed up, hard to explain, its kinda like its heavy but light headed at same time, its horrible
I feel depressed, dont have stamina to give a fuck about anyone or anything
I feel angry and easily irritated
I feel really tired but am stayin online in case debbie comes online

I feel like i had a shit night last night because i was sold something that i thought was (ecstasy)mdma but it wasnt, it was either mdea or mda (ecstasy - like chemicals)
It was good but i didnt feel all dancey, more like mellowed out and tingley and very loved up. I know i had a good night i just wish i wasnt tripping as much because i dont like trippin and haveing OPEN EYE VISUALS of your own funeral and seeing your whole family crying.. i had that as i was walkin down escilators last nite in the venue,
anyways enough from me, yall dont wana hear anymore but i fell so bad today..
oh and i told half the people in leixlip i loved them and next time i see them ill probably be like, "eh hi"
its 12 at nite and im still online home alone, i feel so alone in this world right now, fuck it..

[Bren]

oh ps, i cant even type or spell today, my co-ordination is just totally fucked up,
hopefully ill get over it soon..
ugh i just wish there was someone here

[jillb_14]

um...i am sorry?

[Panz]

hope you feel better soon man  

if those are side effects of them type of drugs i think i will still stay clear, doesnt sound too nice.

[michelleisthebest]

aawww JJ, sorry to hear you arent feeling well hon. Hope you get to feeling better soon- I bet youll feel 100x better tomorrow, after you sleep some more of that shit off.

[SeXiEgUrLiE]

aw im sorry to hear that Bren. i really hope u feel better ok?

BTW- i noticed ur new lil pic thing...u got a new gurl? please tell! hehe.

[Bren]

its 3.30pm i went to bed last nite at bout 4am (talkin to debbie )  anyways i woke up my house is sooo clean and i love a clean house, makes me happy, its snowing outside but sunny which i love, i had a warm shower, got some warm clothes from press and now in online listenin to icp with  nobody in  house,
im allot happier but still not back to normal yet, but i do feel X100 better!! but i'd say after tonite i could be back to square one hehe, from beer of course.
im away from drugs till debbie comes over to visit
but i must say tha way i felt yesterday was definetly worth it hehe..
anyways brit, naw not a new girl just a new avatar

[SeXiEgUrLiE]

glad to hear ur feeling better? just a new avatar? damn- i thought u had a new gurl in ur life wit the intitals AT.

[Bren]

yeah A.Ts not my NEW gf capishe?

[SeXiEgUrLiE]

oops! hehe