Intro To wHiRlWiNd

[wHiRlWiNd]

This is a lil bit of a verse I've been fucking with tell me what yall think.

I'm shooting at yer chest so keep yerself kevlar padded/
my entrances, felt and dramatic,  making yer shit look like white and black static/
I'm going barratic,  like I dabbed a tab of bad acid/
took this knife and jabbed it, into yer stomach spilling anacid/
my threats are fucking drastic, causing yall to scream like a fanatic/
wHiRlWiNd, the G.W.H, using more tablets, than whats going down the throat of an addict/
i'll pop 3 E's when I triple stack it,  going hyper n shit like a fucking faggot(the fuck's up with him?!)/
I'm gonna grab this pistol and flash it, with more bullets than yer sweat when I brandish it/
Fuck a gun,  I'll kill you with pins when I perform black magic/
goto yer funeral and set fire to yer casket/
I keep popping shit til my whole body's distorted/
laugh it off and record it, doping up until Five-0's reported/
Im gonna continue fucking with drugs till I overdose or can't afford it/
going across to Columbia to live it up until my ass is deported/
Drive-bys? Hell no, bitch I'll go all out and leave yer whole block mortared/
leaving forgotten pieces in ash till yer ass could sort it/
"Another white rapper?" shit I guess so unless my mirror's lying/
you fucks repeat a million times like its something I should be denying/
rappers claiming they thuggish when they scrawny bitches hardly able to fit in they jeans/
Im a fucking rap wHiRlWiNd,  while yer only a hint of a breeze/
Like Eazy E said, don't step to these,  Mother Fucking Real G's/
Cuz yer really only as tame as a teen with a super soaker buying sleeze/

[TJ]

the flow was on and off in places, or me.. but the content was ok i guess, try elaborate, theres more to rap about than killin' people and shit, im not dissin your style, i just rather read/listen to something other than that.. just my preference, but it was ok,

I keep popping shit til my whole body's distorted/
laugh it off and record it, doping up until Five-0's reported/
Im gonna continue fucking with drugs till I overdose or can't afford it/

^^liked that..

1ne.

[wHiRlWiNd]

Huh....well trust me the flow is not off.  You probably had a specific flow scheme,  which I did switch to keep from being repetetive,  and thought my flow was off.  Trust me I always rap my shit outloud before I just write it.  

, try elaborate, theres more to rap about than killin' people and shit
Dogg,  you used yer word wrong.  Elaborate means to describe in more the detail the subject matter you are writing about and saying,  etc.  I can take criticism but if you don't like the subject matter its best not to say too much,  if anything. THANKS!

[T1 Req]

That was pretty nice, although I really prefer multis in a "No-One's Iller" style verse. Still, to paraphrase TJ, try to diversify.  You look to be on a similar level to me lyrically anyway, so this battle at ESE should be pretty close

[wHiRlWiNd]

Most definitely.  I just posted my shit so we'll just have to wait.